Designing and leading while neurodivergent
In my early forties, I began learning about people on the autism spectrum, and many similarities in my own behavioral patterns struck me. These include difficulties communicating and interacting with others, reading others’ emotions, making eye contact, relying on routines, and repetitive motions (i.e., tapping, fidgeting, obsessive hand-washing, etc.) A few years ago, I was formally diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), a revelation that has brought me much comfort and clarity. Discovering more about ASD has been like finding the instruction manual for my brain’s operating system for the first time.
I have also discovered that many creative people are neurodivergent because while neurodivergence creates challenges, it also unlocks special abilities. I learned to read at a very young age, I memorize and learn visual information very quickly, I see patterns in data (particularly large and complex sets of qualitative data), and I’m able to focus intensely for long periods of time. These are some of the strengths and abilities typical of people on the autism spectrum.
Some other of my weird abilities and proclivities: While I struggle to understand spreadsheets and email gives me anxiety, I can easily pick up on behavioral patterns in large sets of qualitative ethnographic data and mixed qualitative-quantitative data sets. I can study the map of a large airport or shopping mall for a few seconds and then remember it nearly perfectly to navigate to where I’m going and give strangers directions. I can quickly look at a 2-dimensional drawing and imagine the 3-dimensional equivalent in my head. In crowded spaces I’m prone to anxiety and panic attacks. I’m mildly synesthetic, meaning I strongly associate sounds with colors and vice versa. I can tell if two similar colors don’t match because they sound off-key. I like certain music because of its aural hue. When I compose music, I use colored pens or pencils to draw a visual landscape of the sounds on a long paper roll.
My neurodivergence influenced my early career in ways I couldn’t understand at the time. I cared deeply about making a positive impact on the world, and I also cared deeply about the quality and usability of design. However, most tech startups in the 1990s through the 2000s buried digital design at the bottom of a marketing department where design and impact were rarely concerns. Additionally, the rise of open office plans was always anxiety-inducing for me. On many occasions, I was bullied by managers and coworkers for being “not a team player,” “not social enough,” or just “different.” Unfortunately, this is a common experience for many people with ASD.
I also found myself in awkward situations on numerous occasions because of my compulsive intolerance for people being mistreated or discriminated against. I have been yelled at, socially ostracized, and fired for speaking out against sexual harassment and racism in the workplace. When I was a child growing up in Tucson, Arizona, an old medicine woman from the local Tonono O’Odham tribe came to our school to teach native wisdom and read stories. She told several stories with the same moral: “Walk the rainbow path.” This means always doing what’s right and honorable and represents a spiritual journey of serving the greater good. My grandparents echoed this ethic, teaching that doing the right thing is even more virtuous when no one is watching and speaking truth to power is even more important when no one else will. I have always endeavored to walk this path. Inaction is not an option when I experience a moral or ethical wrong.
Because of my personal and professional struggles, I aspired to take leadership roles to be able to affect change, which I saw was much needed. I watched as many tech startups became inflated with hype and then fizzled or crashed due to recurring patterns of weak and un-diverse internal teams and failures of user experience design. These include incompetence of management and leadership, lack of empathy for employees and customers, and over- and under-valuing certain parts of the organization.
I didn’t know I was neurodivergent, but I knew that I was an introvert, and I knew I struggled with communication and reading other people. So I worked diligently on those things, read books and articles on management and leadership, using the psychology and ethnography I learned in college, and practiced talking to people at home in the mirror. I was doing what’s called “masking,” a prototypical behavior of people with ASD wherein they memorize and perform social interactions and behaviors, often suppressing behaviors deemed “abnormal” to blend in with neuronormative people. I have discovered that nurturing this and scheduling time to practice masking reduces my anxiety in those situations. It also helped me to successfully lead teams at companies like JobTrak, Monster.com, USC eLearning, Interactivism, and Spatial Labs.
I have found the work of Dr. Jennifer B. Kahnweiler to be particularly informative, and I wish her books had been published at least a decade earlier. Her book The Introverted Leader dispels the myth that effective leadership is reserved for extroverts, spotlighting the unique strengths of introverted leaders. Kahnweiler introduces a practical four-step process — the 4 P’s (Preparation, Presence, Push, Practice) — to help introverts leverage their natural tendencies for thoughtful planning, authentic engagement, and continuous skill refinement. With practical advice and real-life examples, Kahnweiler shows how organizations can foster an environment where the quiet power of introverts is recognized as a valuable asset to team dynamics and organizational success.
You don’t need to be an Alpha extravert to be an effective leader. In fact, I believe that Western cultures perpetuate a misguided myth of the perfect leader: The tall, male, white, alpha, extravert with the Big Simple Idea who is always sure of himself. This has led to people who fit this narrow description of “failing up” in spite of incompetence and leaders being promoted who are bullies, tyrants, and generally ineffective. It also means if you don’t fit this description — if you are not tall, not male, not white, not an alpha, without an MBA, an introvert, or neurodivergent — that means you’re not leadership material. Increasingly, Leadership Studies identify very different qualities that define effective leadership: integrity, self-awareness, courage, respect, empathy, and gratitude.
To support neurodivergent colleagues, neuronormative individuals can educate themselves about neurodiversity, adapt communication styles, and be mindful of sensory and work preferences. Embrace and integrate diverse thought patterns, ensuring flexible and inclusive workspaces and routines. Regular feedback can help maintain a supportive environment, fostering a collaborative space where all contributions are valued and celebrated. Neurodiversity, in all its vast array of expressions, is not better than neuronormativity. The two working in harmony leads to powerful results.
Neurodivergent designers navigating a neuronormative world should first and foremost honor their unique perspectives and creative processes, recognizing that their distinct way of perceiving and interacting with the world is a strength, not a setback. Embracing your neurodivergence means finding work environments and routines that align with your sensory preferences and work style. It’s beneficial to communicate your needs clearly with colleagues and supervisors, advocating for the accommodations that enable you to thrive, such as quiet workspaces, remote work, or flexible scheduling. Building a supportive network, whether through neurodiversity advocacy groups or understanding coworkers, can provide a sense of community and shared resources. However, many neurodivergent introverts (like me) are averse to joining groups and prefer to walk a more solitary path. Find what works for you.
In your creative practice, allow your divergent thinking to guide you, using it to innovate and solve problems that might not occur to neurotypical peers. Continuously refine your skills in translating your unique ideas into formats that resonate with a broad audience, bridging the gap between your vision and the neuronormative world. By fostering self-awareness, advocating for your needs, and leveraging your distinctive talents, you can navigate and thrive in a world gradually learning about neurodiversity.
